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How to Build a Thriving Marriage When the Past Is Always Present
The Unique Journey of Loving a Widower
When I first met my husband, I knew I was stepping into a love story that began long before I arrived. The past was not just a memory but a living presence in our daily lives. I remember the first time I realized just how deeply woven his history was into our present.
It wasn't just the photos that adorned the walls of the home they lived in; it was the friends who would share their intimate experiences and memories that were constan

Deborah Holmén
Jul 167 min read


Dear Next Chapter, My widowed boyfriend and I are ready to go public, but his family is still deep in grief. How do we break the news? ~ Hidden Chapter
Dear Hidden Chapter,
First, let me say how brave and hopeful it is that you and your boyfriend are ready to share your happiness with the world, even as his family is still navigating the waves of grief. Introducing a new relationship into a family mourning a significant loss is like introducing a new species into a delicate ecosystem. Success depends on patience, gentleness, and attentive observation. Remember, patience is not just a virtue; it's a necessity in this delicat

Deborah Holmén
Jun 263 min read


Dear Next Chapter: I feel like an outsider when I'm with his grieving family. How do I balance my needs with theirs? ~ Feeling Left Out
First, let's take a collective deep breath. If you're reading this, you've already done something incredibly brave: you've stepped into a story that began before you and hope to help write the next chapter. That takes courage, heart, and a willingness to be very uncomfortable for other people's sake. I know you have these things because I've been exactly where you are.
When you're dating or married to a widower, the family's garden is already in full bloom...

Deborah Holmén
Jun 193 min read


Navigating Love After Loss: Essential Advice for Dating a Widower
An online widows' group contacted me to discuss my experiences dating a widower. One member was unsure whether to continue or end her relationship, and listening to the members' challenges was enlightening. I developed these tips to help them better grasp the complexities involved.
Experience is the best teacher, and after almost nine years, I've learned some valuable lessons about dating and marrying a widower.

Deborah Holmén
Jun 29, 20244 min read
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