You’re not alone—so many people find themselves wrestling with conflicting feelings when life spins in opposite directions for us and those we love. When you’re grieving and your friend is thriving, that contrast can sting like a Florida sunburn, all hot and prickly where you least expect it. Psychological research backs up what you’re feeling: transitions, especially those involving loss, can leave us emotionally tender and thrown off balance.

Your question strikes at the heart of one of the most challenging dilemmas facing parents today: when the promises we make during our most vulnerable moments become the chains that bind us from living authentically. The psychology of promise-making reveals a complex truth: promises made during periods of intense emotion, grief, or desperation rarely serve us well in the long term. We experienced this when my husband and I wanted to get engaged after dating for eighteen mon

The Unique Journey of Loving a Widower When I first met my husband, I knew I was stepping into a love story that began long before I arrived. The past was not just a memory but a living presence in our daily lives. I remember the first time I realized just how deeply woven his history was into our present. It wasn't just the photos that adorned the walls of the home they lived in; it was the friends who would share their intimate experiences and memories that were constan

Dear Transplanted But Not Taking Root, Oh honey, you're describing what psychologists call "relocation depression," and it's as real as the Spanish moss hanging from those Southern trees. After a year, feeling lonely and missing your roots isn't a character flaw—it's your heart doing precisely what hearts do when transplanted to new soil. Here's what the research tells us: relocation depression affects your sleep, appetite, concentration, and ability to connect with others, a

Dear Phoenix Lover: For my new readers, a "Phoenix" refers to a widower who has risen from the ashes of his past to find new love. This journey is not an easy one for him. It takes courage to step back into the dating world, which can be a daunting and incredibly challenging experience. Let's address the elephant (or perhaps the grizzly bear) in the room: grief can cause people to behave in unpredictable ways. His children are not attacking you personally; they are trying

Dear Hidden Chapter, First, let me say how brave and hopeful it is that you and your boyfriend are ready to share your happiness with the world, even as his family is still navigating the waves of grief. Introducing a new relationship into a family mourning a significant loss is like introducing a new species into a delicate ecosystem. Success depends on patience, gentleness, and attentive observation. Remember, patience is not just a virtue; it's a necessity in this delicat

First, let's take a collective deep breath. If you're reading this, you've already done something incredibly brave: you've stepped into a story that began before you and hope to help write the next chapter. That takes courage, heart, and a willingness to be very uncomfortable for other people's sake. I know you have these things because I've been exactly where you are. When you're dating or married to a widower, the family's garden is already in full bloom...

Dear Next Chapter, Is feeling jealous of a late spouse normal? Sometimes, I think I'm competing with a ghost! ~ Haunted by Comparison. Dear Haunted by Comparison: Absolutely normal! You're not alone. People in new relationships with widowers or widows feel like they're auditioning for a role that's already been cast. It's easy to wonder if you're competing with a memory, especially since the late spouse often gets remembered as a saint ...

An online widows' group contacted me to discuss my experiences dating a widower. One member was unsure whether to continue or end her relationship, and listening to the members' challenges was enlightening. I developed these tips to help them better grasp the complexities involved. Experience is the best teacher, and after almost nine years, I've learned some valuable lessons about dating and marrying a widower.

If you’ve ever watched Animal Planet, or in my day, it was Mutual of Omaha Animal Kingdom, Mother Nature didn’t sugar-coat what life and death were all about. We witnessed the lioness desperately trying to feed her cubs and rooted in her success. Or, in the next episode, we’d watch the antelope bound desperately to escape the apex predator’s clutches. It brought the reality of life to our television in plain and simple truth: we all have an exit plan; we just don’t know when.

In recent years, there has been a significant shift in the perception and acceptance of psychic mediums. Once dismissed as mere charlatans or crazy fortune-tellers, these gifted individuals are now being recognized for their remarkable ability to help people navigate their mental health struggles. These modern-day intuitives offer hope and solace to those seeking guidance and understanding. This is part one of a two-part series.

Guiding loved ones who may be stuck in their grief. By Deborah Holmen, M.Ed, NBCT Photo by Sandy Millar Grief can be a complicated and...