Dear Phoenix Lover: For my new readers, a "Phoenix" refers to a widower who has risen from the ashes of his past to find new love. This journey is not an easy one for him. It takes courage to step back into the dating world, which can be a daunting and incredibly challenging experience. Let's address the elephant (or perhaps the grizzly bear) in the room: grief can cause people to behave in unpredictable ways. His children are not attacking you personally; they are trying

Dear Hidden Chapter, First, let me say how brave and hopeful it is that you and your boyfriend are ready to share your happiness with the world, even as his family is still navigating the waves of grief. Introducing a new relationship into a family mourning a significant loss is like introducing a new species into a delicate ecosystem. Success depends on patience, gentleness, and attentive observation. Remember, patience is not just a virtue; it's a necessity in this delicat

Dear Next Chapter, Is feeling jealous of a late spouse normal? Sometimes, I think I'm competing with a ghost! ~ Haunted by Comparison. Dear Haunted by Comparison: Absolutely normal! You're not alone. People in new relationships with widowers or widows feel like they're auditioning for a role that's already been cast. It's easy to wonder if you're competing with a memory, especially since the late spouse often gets remembered as a saint ...

An online widows' group contacted me to discuss my experiences dating a widower. One member was unsure whether to continue or end her relationship, and listening to the members' challenges was enlightening. I developed these tips to help them better grasp the complexities involved. Experience is the best teacher, and after almost nine years, I've learned some valuable lessons about dating and marrying a widower.