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Dear Next Chapter: My new partner is a Phoenix, and his adult children treat me like I’m a homewrecker. How do I win them over—or do I even try? ~ Phoenix Lover
Dear Phoenix Lover: For my new readers, a "Phoenix" refers to a widower who has risen from the ashes of his past to find new love. This journey is not an easy one for him. It takes courage to step back into the dating world, which can be a daunting and incredibly challenging experience.
Let's address the elephant (or perhaps the grizzly bear) in the room: grief can cause people to behave in unpredictable ways. His children are not attacking you personally; they are trying

Deborah Holmén
6 days ago3 min read


Dear Next Chapter: I feel like an outsider when I'm with his grieving family. How do I balance my needs with theirs? ~ Feeling Left Out
First, let's take a collective deep breath. If you're reading this, you've already done something incredibly brave: you've stepped into a story that began before you and hope to help write the next chapter. That takes courage, heart, and a willingness to be very uncomfortable for other people's sake. I know you have these things because I've been exactly where you are.
When you're dating or married to a widower, the family's garden is already in full bloom...

Deborah Holmén
Jun 193 min read


Dear Next Chapter, Is feeling jealous of a late spouse normal?
Dear Next Chapter, Is feeling jealous of a late spouse normal? Sometimes, I think I'm competing with a ghost! ~ Haunted by Comparison. Dear Haunted by Comparison: Absolutely normal! You're not alone. People in new relationships with widowers or widows feel like they're auditioning for a role that's already been cast. It's easy to wonder if you're competing with a memory, especially since the late spouse often gets remembered as a saint ...

Deborah Holmén
Jun 113 min read
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